ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú

Speaker: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast by the hosts and guests may or may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú University.

Speaker: Freshman year I came in undecided.

Speaker: I'm finance, entrepreneurship, anthropology.

Speaker: I'm a senior architecture student.

Speaker: I'm involved in the blockchain club here.

Speaker: I'm very passionate about studying abroad.

Speaker: Classes are going great.

Speaker: And then obviously very involved with my sorority.

Speaker: I'm thriving.

Meredith Aliff 

Hi, I'm Meredith Aliff. And this is major insight. This is the podcast where we talk college life with amazing students about how to find your place and purpose on campus.

As graduation approaches, we continue our conversation that reflects back on our four amazing and transformative years as college students. ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú senior Maya Mehlman is back to help recap all the ups and downs, and all the fun and all the fears of our college experiences. If you missed the first part of the series, it's up now you can go back and listen to hear the rest of the story so far, or just jump in right now. Because whether we want it to or not, this train is moving forward.

Meredith Aliff 

Okay, and we are back again with Miss Maya Mehlman. And let's just dive right back in. So how do you plan on saying goodbye to the people here in Oxford? Have you guys been... So the psych double major in me has been doing a lot of thinking about this. And I've seen many people go about this in very different ways. And obviously, you want to cherish your last weeks with the people that you love and the people that you care about. And because, you know, it's never going to be like this again. And that's a terrible thing to wrap your head around. But I've seen some people start to push, or like, create distance or purposefully like cause issues or like, do all these things like, how do you avoid kind of the inevitable, like, let me just try to make this easier on everybody and just like space myself out and do my own thing? Because unfortunately, I have seen some people do that. And it's a really hard way to go out and a really, in my opinion, immature way to go out.

Maya Mehlman 

So I've always kind of had the mindset that it's never really a goodbye. It's always a See you later. Especially...

Meredith Aliff 

Don't say that.

Maya Mehlman 

I think so, though...

Meredith Aliff 

No, that's so good. But don't say that because I'm gonna start crying.

Maya Mehlman 

But I ... Okay, so the part ... so as to the whole pushing away thing,I have been thinking about that a lot, actually. Because I know that people do that. I don't think I've been doing that because I've really been trying to like hone in on the relationships I've had, and been trying to make them work. But like I said, I don't think it's a goodbye. It is 100% a see you later. And I have my close circle of people that I ... there's no doubt in my mind that I am going to keep in contact with. I have had to say goodbye/see you later too many people in my life. I mean, I went to sleepaway camp for eight years, I studied abroad with people that weren't ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú. And it's always like I see them on social media and I'm happy for them where they are and I can text them too, and it's also taught me this like realistic like, Okay, we might not talk every day, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to be here. I mean we were we were making a joke before that I was talking about like it was trauma but my friends and I like we have been slowly like introducing the Okay, we might be in different places. How are we going to like deal with that and we've been like, right now we have to tell each other once a year reunion. And when we get money and jobs and we're actually able to afford like bigger trips. We could say twice a year. But right now we are going to say once a year we are going to plan a vacation and we are going to see each other. It can even be back here in Ohio, like it doesn't matter. We just have to see each other. How have I been dealing with it? It's been a lot of like avoiding the topic, to be completely honest. I have been extremely busy these past few weeks, like the whole wind up to finals. It's so busy. So I think it's been pretty easy to keep myself occupied. The weird part is I'm not ... obviously I'm devastated about having to leave college and like saying goodbye to my friends, but even then, like it's not really Goodbye. I'm more sad about the people that I see when I go out that like I stop and say hi to on the sidewalk and we have little like catch up conversations, and it's like those people that

Meredith Aliff 

You won't see them ever again

Meredith Aliff 

That's really hard to think about.

Maya Mehlman 

Right, and I'm probably not going to like ... I don't want to say not talk to them ever again because that seems really harsh. But it;'s the reality. Like, sure I follow everyone on social media and I'll see pictures and I'll be like, Oh, OMG I'm so happy that they're thriving, living their best lives, but I'm never gonna pass them on the street again and be able to be like, What are you doing on Saturday?  Am I gonna see you at Brick this weekend? Yeah, and I mean, I have a lot of people in my life over these past three years that it has just been like fun going out relationships. And once you take that away, it's like, I'm not ... We don't... it's not like we're texting every weekend to make plans. So that's sad to think about.

Maya Mehlman 

But as for my friends, obviously, it crushes me that I will no longer be living in an eight person house and be able to see their shiny faces at 830 Every single morning. But I know it's not a goodbye.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah. And the dynamic changes, but the friendship does not change.

Maya Mehlman 

And I also know that they have made such an impact on my life, that any milestone that happens, any small inconvenience that happens, they will know. I will let them know. So yes, it's bittersweet because I'm also ...I look at it and I'm like, not only ... I asked you that naive question before about, like, I look back at me four years ago, and I'm like, so naive. I look back on, you know, our relationship started sophomore year of college, and we've grown so much. I am so excited to see everyone grow up and like, yeah, see what everyone does. Because I know we're all gonna do great things, no matter what that looks like, because we're all interested in different things. So no, I don't think I've been pushing anyone away. I think everyone's been like a little irritable on edge just because it's obviously a lot of ...

Meredith Aliff 

It's a really stressful time as well, right now, like, yeah, getting ready for graduation, and also finals, and also final presentations. And like, all this craziness, like, it's definitely a lot piling up, right. But I try to remember that it's the end and like, cherish the moments, and but it's very easy to get irritable at this time.

Maya Mehlman 

Right. And but I also just think like, even though right now might be a hard emotional time, like, these relationships are four years going strong. Like one moment isn't gonna make them tumble down.

Meredith Aliff 

Oh, yeah.

Maya Mehlman 

And I also -- see this as a part that I might start crying. I have ...I came into college, obviously, I've had like, super, I've had, like best friends before in college. But I've never had relationships like I've had here. At ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú. And I have loved every single person that has come into my life at ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú. And they've taught me so much about myself and what I deserve. And now going into the real world, I'm not going to settle for friends that don't give me what these people have.

Meredith Aliff 

100% 100% and I think I, I talked about this all the time, but especially with my friends here. And just I'm so grateful for the people that I live with and the people that I've met. And I think one really cool thing about your transition of your friendships, from high school to college, and I literally talk about this to anyone that will listen: is that it goes from friendships of convenience, where you just happen to be in the same grade at the same school, or like maybe your parents were really good friends. And so you grew up and you became friends with that person. And sometimes those are the most important relationships you'll ever have in your life. But for the first time, I'm making friends with people because we have similar interests, and we get along and we have the same ideals. And that's a really, really cool thing to start doing and to start forming, are relationships like that. And I truly don't think that that happened until I got here.

Maya Mehlman 

No, I agree. I agree. Because it's also we've changed so much as human beings too. And I don't know what year you started meeting your friends that you have now. But they have been through so much with me. They have literally seen the good, the bad, the ugly, they've seen Blood, Sweat Tears, and they still chose to stick by me. And I think that's just it. It's the choice to stay, like, you're talking about the convenience of a relationship. Oh, I've had really good friends because we were super close family, friends and our parents have been friends for years. This was, as you were saying, we are friends by choice. Yeah, we are here because we'd love each other and we take the good, the bad, the ugly.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah. And I always hear at the end of the day, it's the people who will listen to you rant about the same thing 3000 times and still not get tired of hearing it or talking to you about it. And I'm like yes, that's literally them. And it has restored my faith in like good solid friendships of people that are actually just your friend because they want to be, and they choose to stay because they love you. And they want you in their life, and you want them in your life. And that's why you stay. And that is... it's just such a beautiful type of friendship that I truly had never had before.

Maya Mehlman 

My favorite thing in the world is like when I'll be ranting to my friends, and they'll be like, do you want advice? Or..

Meredith Aliff 

....do you want me to just listen?

Maya Mehlman 

Sometimes... most of the time, I'm like, just listen. Most of the time, I'd be like, I know I'm in the wrong in this situation, but just listen to me.

Meredith Aliff 

Just let me be that. But I also know and this is just such a fun thing with like a friendship or a friend group dynamic, especially living with people in college is I know depending on the issue, which person to go to for advice and who I just want to listen.

Maya Mehlman 

Yes!

Meredith Aliff 

Like, if school advice I'm immediately going to this one, but if it's like, friend advice, or like misfits or acapella advice, immediately I'm going to this friend.

Maya Mehlman 

If I need honesty about like, how an outfit looks.

Meredith Aliff 

Oh, immediately, I'm going to that roommate. No, like, absolutely. And that is so fun. And just funny that we ...you just get to know each other so well, that I'm like, I know who I don't want to give me advice right now. So let me go over here first

Maya Mehlman 

Right. Firstly, we always say my friend groups like toxic trait is that anything that we watch, any movie, any TV show, we'll assign, like our friend group to those characters. Like, the friends cast, for example.

Meredith Aliff 

I love that.

Maya Mehlman 

Yeah, I mean, it's fun for us. But like if someone were to be sitting in the room, they'd be like, Oh, my God, this friend group is so flippin annoying. And then new people have recently been like filing into our lives, which is also kind of interesting -- that I want to talk to you from like that psych perspective, I guess. But we don't like catch them up on any of the drama. We just, like start talking about it. And they're like, "What is going on?" But they've slowly been able to like pick up because it's all like the same 10 characters or people. But I think that's another like interesting part about college. I don't know if it's because of this like nostalgia, like rush of like, oh, it's ending so I have to make the most of everything. But we've had like a ton of new people come into our lives recently. That's like, well, this kind of sucks. Because I love every single one of you. And we only have so much time left. I refuse to put a number to it. Fun fact. I'm just like, we have time.

Meredith Aliff 

We have time. We do. We do have time. Yeah, I think it's interesting. It makes me sad to meet like new people in the sorority or like new people in the acapella community because I know what they have to look forward to. That we don't have any more, like, where ...

Maya Mehlman 

There is some jealousy for sure.

Meredith Aliff 

Oh, and that's so real to admit as well, like, that is so real. There is jealousy. I look at the freshmen in the ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú misfits acapella group. And I just know what they have ahead of them. And it's just ... It is. There's an aspect of jealousy, but also just like, very proud of them and excited for them too. And I think about that with all the underclassmen that I know. And I'm friends with, you know, like, my grand littles and my, you know, people that have lived in the dorm that are in my major that I've met through the years, or even people on this podcast like that are below me in year. I'm like, so you still have some time, like, you lucky duck.

Maya Mehlman 

Right, which is also interesting, because I would say that I kind of do look at those people with a touch of jealousy. But also like, I wouldn't go back and do it. But like, I'm jealous that they have that like naive nature to them where it's like, you have no idea, like, you have no idea what's about to happen to you in the best way.

Meredith Aliff 

Oh my gosh, I know. I know. Yeah, we were naive. I'm still naive, but I'm a little bit less naive.

Maya Mehlman 

Yeah. Aren't we all a little bit naive, though, like you never really, you know ... you don't know what you don't know.

Meredith Aliff 

Right. You always have to learn. Which is actually a really good segue into our final question of the day.

Meredith Aliff 

What advice should we give our future selves? So this could be when we're in our 30s. When we're in our 40s. When we're on our 60s, but what do we want to hold on to about this time in our lives and give advice to ourselves in the future?

Maya Mehlman 

Just keep doing you, boo. I mean, it's worked so far.

Meredith Aliff 

Plain and simple.

Maya Mehlman 

I mean, but seriously, everything I've kind of said and I believe I've said this on the past episodes too, just go all in. Take the opportunties that come your way, know when to say "no." Saying no is important. If it's something that you're just like, that's definitely not for me, don't do it. Because then you're just gonna end up getting overwhelmed. Appreciate all the people that are in your life, The Good, the Bad, know that they're there to teach you some type of lesson, even if they're not going to be there forever. Hold on to the relationships that you already have. Because you are going to need them no matter where you are in your life. And just keep making those connections. Because connections are important. And they're kind of what get you through life. But yes, just keep doing you.

Meredith Aliff 

That's fantastic advice. I ...

Maya Mehlman 

Really? I hope, so. I felt like it was a little word vomity. But I appreciate you saying it was good.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah, no, that was wonderful. I think what immediately jumped into my head at that question is never ever lose your sense of excitement in the little thing.

Maya Mehlman 

That's a good one.

Meredith Aliff 

And never, ever lose your sense of curiosity about the little things. Never stop learning or think that you're done growing, because you're not. And kind of going back to maybe a little bit of an overarching theme here in our talk today. But never, ever think that you are alone, ever, ever, nobody is ever alone, there's always somebody there that will talk to you and have your back.

Maya Mehlman 

And don't be afraid to ask for help.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah, and if college has taught me anything, it's that I do have those people in my life. And outside of familial relationships, I have those people in my life that I can turn to, if things are literally going down the toilet. And always just take the chance, because the worst thing that's going to happen is you fail, and you have to try again. And sometimes that can be really big in the real world, it can be really big fails. And that can be really scary. But College, like I said, is a simulation. It's a test round, and you make mistakes, and you try again. And it kind of puts into perspective for you that it's really not the end of the world. If you mess up or you make a mistake, and you need to start over. And I've seen people in their 70s start a new job, like, you never ... that's never ... there's not an age limit for making mistakes.

Maya Mehlman 

And that's also a ... that's a good point. There's not a limit. There isn't. You can have as many career lifestyle changes as you want. No one's telling you that you have to follow this timeline, that you have to follow this, these steps to do this thing like. Do what makes you happy. And at the end of the day, you have to prioritize yourself and your needs.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah. Absolutely. Well, Maya, here we are.

Maya Mehlman 

Here we are.

Meredith Aliff 

We are at the end.

Maya Mehlman 

Are we passing the torch?

Meredith Aliff 

I guess it's time to pass the torch. But it has been truly just the best four years of my life. And I'm so lucky that I've met you. And that you've become such an important part of my college experience through this fantastic podcast.

Maya Mehlman 

I'm so excited to see what you do.

Meredith Aliff 

I'm so excited to see what you do. You're gonna be so successful. And yeah, it's been fantastic to look back. And hopefully people get a little bit out of this episode, and a little bit out of our silly little college experience that we've had. And yeah, it's been an honor.

Maya Mehlman 

And I want everyone to know that being a senior is awesome. All of these emotions are great. And I ... we are so fortunate that we get to feel these feelings.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah. 100% Yeah, it's emotional. Of course it is. But if you're not emotional, then you did something wrong. Like, it just means that it's the end of a really, really important part of your life.

Maya Mehlman 

It's the end of an era.

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah, and like you said, it's just going to keep getting better. But it's been the best four years of my life so far. So it's been a pleasure to share it with you.

Maya Mehlman 

You too

Meredith Aliff 

All right, signing off. Bye.

Maya Mehlman 

That was a lot.

Meredith Aliff 

No!

Maya Mehlman 

Is that it?

Meredith Aliff 

No! Drag me out! I'm chaining myself to the mic!

Meredith Aliff 

Well, like all good things, even our cherished time together has come to a close. So we want to sincerely thank Maya Mehlman for all her help and hard work on this podcast over the past several semesters, and we wish her the very best of everything in life after graduation. And while it may be the end of an era, like Maya said, it's not goodbye. It's just see you later, for now. More special episodes of Major Insight we'll return this summer.