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Never give up (Advice for my first-year self)

Advice and inspiration from successful students who have already been through it all

Never give up (Advice for my first-year self)

Welcome to another edition of our special summer series called, “Advice for my first-year self,” where we reflect back on all the best advice and insight collected from all across campus. Hear short stories about being proactive, taking chances, and overcoming college doubts and fears.

Because finding your place and purpose on campus is not about just waiting for college success to happen to you. It’s actually about taking charge of your journey, and we have all the insight and inspiration to get you started right here.

Hear part 2, You are Enough (Advice for my first-year self), as our special summer series continues with even more advice and inspiration from successful students who have already been through it all.

Read the transcript

Speaker: The views and opinions expressed in this podcast by the hosts and guests may or may not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú University.

Speaker: Freshman year I came in undecided.

Speaker: I'm finance, entrepreneurship, anthropology.

Speaker: I'm a senior architecture student.

Speaker: I'm involved in the blockchain club here.

Speaker: I'm very passionate about studying abroad.

Speaker: Classes are going great.

Speaker: And then obviously very involved with my sorority.

Speaker: I'm thriving.

Meredith Aliff 

Hi, I'm Meredith Aliff, and this is major insight. This is the podcast where we talk college life with amazing students about how to find your place and purpose on campus. Welcome to another edition of our special summer series called advice for my first-year self, where we reflect back on all the best advice and insight collected from all across campus, because finding your place and purpose on campus is not about waiting for college to just happen to you. It's actually about taking charge of your college journey by overcoming all those doubts and fears, and we have all the inspiration and advice you need to get started right here.

 

Meredith Aliff 

So the first question that I want to ask you is, who are you?

 

Avery Holmes

My name is Avery Holmes. I'm a kinesiology major with a nutrition minor. I'm from the suburbs of Chicago, and I work for the ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú football team.

 

Meredith Aliff 

All right, okay, so what are some of the bigger challenges that you've had to face in college?

 

Avery Holmes

I mean, tons of experiences throughout college where, you know, things don't always go your way. I love to say that rejection is redirection. I think it's so true, like I applied to a medical fraternity here on campus. I wanted to be a part of so badly my sophomore year and I made it to the interviews, didn't get. I was devastated because, you know, that was only my second semester here on campus. I wanted to be involved so badly. I just wanted to meet people and, you know, do everything I could, you know, I was a doe eyed sophomore, just trying to get everything on my resume. And so I was crushed by that, because, you know, I had gone through the process with some friends too. You know, some of them got in, some of them didn't either, um, and it's definitely hard. But a month later, I got my job with ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú football, so, you know, and I ... doing that now I barely have time to go to class. So, you know, I mean, yeah, my favorite thing ever is rejection is redirection, because you never know. Those experiences ... that it just wasn't meant for you at that time. And now I look at what the experiences I'm getting now.

 

Meredith Aliff 

So I love that rejection is redirection.

 

Avery Holmes 

Yes, just gotta embrace opportunities. They're there

 

Meredith Aliff 

Absolutely. And rejection is very important too. Like I talked about this with somebody on a previous episode, but there are people that have never experienced rejection before coming to college, and so it's like a smack in the face to get rejected that first couple times in your life, and that can come through so many things, whether that's wanting to join a medical fraternity. So it's almost the having the rejection is so important to any person's college experience, because if you're not getting rejected, that probably means you're not putting yourself out there in the ways that is going to make you the most successful in the long run. If you're playing it safe, that's totally fine, if that's what you want to do. But the most successful stories I feel like have come out of rejection. Super cool. I love that rejection is redirection. I will implement that into my life immediately.

 

Maya Mehlman

My name is Maya Melman. I am a Media and Communications major.

 

Meredith Aliff 

So what advice do you have for your first year self coming into college?

 

Maya Mehlman

The first piece of advice is going to be that these four years really do fly by, so take advantage of everything that you possibly can. And I would say that I've done a pretty good job of doing that. My second piece of advice would be, it's okay. I am a person that puts a lot of stress on myself. I like to have everything figured out all the time. Well, that is not how life works, baby. So it's also okay to have feelings, like, it's okay to not be happy 100% of the time, it's okay to be upset. It's okay to reach out to people and ask for help. I think that was also my biggest thing that I learned through it all, it's okay to say "I don't know what I'm doing, and I would really like some help," because we've all been there. We've all been in situations where, I mean, I always just think about when, like, when we were touring colleges, right? I would like look at people walking around on the college campus and be like, those are the coolest people ever. And now, like, there's people touring around ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú, and I wonder, like, if they look at me and they think, Oh, my God, she's the coolest person ever. I don't have it figured out. Everyone's just faking it until they make it.

 

Meredith Aliff 

 I'm like, I'm actually a loser.

 

Maya Mehlman

Yeah, like, actually, I kind of just failed my chemistry exam, like, an hour ago. So I don't really know if you want this life, but, no, that's like ... we're all just doing the best we can. And that's like just my biggest advice, and kind of like just for life in general: just like, ask for help. Like, it's okay to say you don't know what you're doing.

 

Orin Edwards 

So my name is Oren Edwards. I'm a senior here at ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú University. I play football as well as a couple other things, just trying to be involved with the Oxford community. So I'm a football player who does other things.

 

Meredith Aliff 

Love it absolutely. That's so great. Did you ever struggle at any point, you know, in those first couple years? Were there any big challenges that you needed to overcome in order to kind of be where you are now>

 

Orin Edwards 

Yes. 100% like I said, I think these four years have been the biggest ... or the most amount of growth I've seen in my entire life, and that is due to challenges, and that's due to not having everything going your way at the end of the day. I mean, life is not fair. Life will throw a million different things at you, and it is how do you react to these situations that will prove to what you're going to become. So I would say, sophomore year for football, that was the toughest year for me. I wasn't playing. Essentially, I felt like I had no role on the team. I felt like I was just kind of there, and mentally for me, being, I would say, not a super strong minded 19 year old at the time, and kind of thinking that I was supposed to have everything handed to me. Because ... not saying everything has been handed to me, but I've only seen positive results, especially in football, for my entire life, because I'm, you know ... I've always just been the guy. So then I came to college, and it was kind of like a slap in the face, or more, so a rude awakening, letting you know, hey, you're not the guy.

 

Meredith Aliff 

There were like 200 "the guys" that are all now here.

 

Orin Edwards 

By the way, everyone else is "the guy" too. Yeah. So that's that was a transition period for me where I had to realize, okay, maybe you're not the guy on the physical play, but maybe you can be the guy in a different area. Maybe you can provide value to this team in a different way. But I had to come to an understanding, and more, so just be real with myself. So I would say during spring ball sophomore year was when I had that, like, it was like, almost like an intervention, where it's like, okay, either you're gonna quit football right now, and you're gonna have no idea what you're gonna do. You're gonna make an emotional decision. Just say, "You know what the sport you've been playing my entire life? One thing didn't go my way. I quit. I'm done," you know. But one thing that they say is, quitters never win and winners never quit. As simple as a saying that is, quitters never win, because you quit before you had the opportunity to win. Or more so, find your win, because winning is different for everyone else. It has to be relative to you. So if you do something that, I guess you see as a win, you already won. And that's where I was at. I knew I had a lot more to give in football, but for the first time in your life, brother, it didn't go the way that you envisioned it. So that's where I just had to just say, okay, find my role, do well in my role, and attack my role every day like you're gonna be the best that you're gonna be. So essentially, for me, that kind of turned into signaling. Now I'm a signaler for the football team, and that made me feel like I had a role on the team. I'm involved in the game because I'm calling the plays. It was, quote, unquote "my win." I was winning every time that I went out there, and I signaled. Every time that I had a good day, signaling I won today. I won today. So now I'm stacking good days just because I shifted my mindset.

 

Brock Shults 

I Hi, I am Brock. I'm a sophomore here at ÍÃ×ÓÏÈÉú. I study kinesiology here, and I'm in thumbtack mechanics.

 

Meredith Aliff 

Lovely. If you could go back and talk to yourself or anybody in your situation, at like, the end of your senior year of high school, what would you say to yourself with the experience that you now have?

 

Brock Shults 

I would say that things don't really get handed to you as much when you're in college. You kind of have to go and figure it out, experience it good or bad. I think college is just, I mean, a lot of people say it's just a lot of trying and failing, trial and error. And I think myself and a lot of other people get to college their first semester and expect it to just be like a movie, where it's just perfect and everything falls into place at one time. And in my case, I did have a lot of things go my way, but I also had, you know, other things that I still had to work on and figure out and do. And I definitely think it's important for people to know that it's never going to be perfect and like, just stick it out and you will find your people, find your place.

 

Liz Grossman 

My name is Liz Grossman. I am. A senior and graduating this semester with a Bachelor of Science in sport, leadership and management and graduating in May with my masters of eSports management. College is not so much about learning your degree, because so many people go to grad school, but it's about learning how to be a person.

 

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah. Oh, that's great.

 

Liz Grossman 

I think about that a lot sometimes. Don't forget to value kind of what you learn in interpersonal relationships. You know, I think some people before college have lived with somebody else. Other people haven't, or some people for very short periods of time, you know, learning how to live with a roommate, it's, you know, it's an important thing to learn, just learning how to manage relationships and know what you want and don't want. But also, on top of that, learning like, how do I study for this kind of test I've never had before? Taking the time to do that's really important. Learning to take that time and just finding all those things, you're not only gonna learn to be a good student, but you also learn how to be a person in the world.

 

Meredith Aliff 

Yeah absolutely. Well, I think that that is fantastic advice. And like you said, it's more than just getting A's in all your classes or finishing with the GPA that you want, but you do so much personal growth in these four years, and it's really important I feel like to go in knowing that. You know, I've had a kind of epiphany moment a couple weeks ago where I had ... it's so random, but a memory on my Snapchat came up from freshman year, and I literally was like, Who is that little girl? I barely recognized her. Like, it's ... you do so much growth, and you don't even realize it half the time. But it's such an important part. It's not just about the academics or what you can put on your resume, but, like, what kind of person you turn into, which is super cool.

 

Meredith Aliff 

Thank you for listening to part one of our special summer series advice for my first-year self. Next time, as we get ready for a whole new school year, we'll hear even more stories and advice on how to survive and thrive in college and beyond. Until then, many more episodes are available wherever podcasts are found.

Major Insight is a roadmap for college students who wish to find their place and purpose on campus. Each episode features real stories with real students who are successfully navigating 21st century university life.