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"In a rough draft, we are rarely economical: We repeat ourselves, we belabor the obvious, we cushion our thoughts in excess language. ... Long sentences are not necessarily wordy, nor are short sentences always concise. A sentence is wordy if it can be tightened without loss of meaning." (Diana Hacker, The Bedford Handbook 2004)

In Revising Prose, Richard Lanham criticizes writers for composing sentences that "have been assembled from strings of prepositional phrases glued together by that all-purpose epoxy 'is'" (3). He provides a five-step process for removing those excess words, and proposes a formula for calculating the "lard factor" of words you've removed. We've adapted his process and changed the name to "cutting the fluff." Challenge yourself to see how much fluff you can remove!

The following strategies will help you learn to cut the fluff. Use the process at the end of the document ("Cut the Fluff Exercise") to edit and trim your writing, and then calculate how much fluff you removed. Remember that even professional writers such as Stephen King cut up to 20% of their drafts during editing.

1. Replace "to be" Verbs

If you have time for nothing else, replacing the "to be" verbs gives the biggest impact to your writing's strength. "To be" verbs (is, as, are, am, was, were, been, being) indicate a state of existence and result in lifeless prose. Use stronger, descriptive verbs.

2. Tighten Prepositional Phrases

Prepositional phrases are often overused, causing longer than needed sentences. See our handout "A Short List of Prepositions" to identify the prepositions in your writing and then eliminate or rephrase.

3. Cut Empty or Wordy Phrases and Modifiers

Empty phrases add nothing to meaning, and you can simply cut them. In the example below, the writer's opinion is already implied and therefore unnecessary to state. Examples of empty phrases include:

• In my opinion
• I think that
• It seems that
• One must admit

Replace wordy phrases with one word carrying the same meaning:

Replace these vague modifiers with stronger verbs or nouns, or simply remove them: absolutely, awfully, basically, definitely, extremely, literally, really, truly, very, amazing, awesome, fine, great, incredible.

Avoid using nouns ending in –ion. Changing these nominalizations to their verb form creates more direct, active language.

4. Avoid Expletives

You can search for expletives in Microsoft Word and then rephrase them by putting the subject first: there is, there are, it is, it was, what is, what was

5. Use active, not passive, voice

Passive voice hides the "doer" of the action and, thus, often hides responsibility. Active voice is clearer and more direct. (Note: You may want to use the passive voice to hide the "doer" in certain situations such as when referring to children, victims of crime, whistleblowers, or other sensitive circumstances.)

Simplify sentences

Reduce clauses to phrases, phrases to single words

Clause to Phrase:

Phrase to single words

Cutting the Fluff Exercise

Note: Before starting, count the number of words in your original document and save a copy of it. For each of the steps, refer to the explanations and examples above.

Six Steps to Cut the Fluff

1. Circle or highlight the "to be" verbs. Replace them with more descriptive verbs where possible.
2. Circle or highlight the prepositions. Eliminate OR turn the phrase into a modifier.
3. Cut empty phrases and modifiers.
4. Identify expletives (there is, it is)—often at the beginning of the sentence—then rewrite the sentence.
5. Almost always: replace passive voice with active voice.
6. Simplify sentences/reduce clauses and phrases

Formula to calculate the fluff factor (FF)

1. Count the number of words in your document and write it down.
2. Using the strategies on this handout, revise your writing to make it more concise, more clear, and more vivid. On the first page:
   • Circle the "to be" verbs
   • Square the prepositions
   • Underline wordy phrases
3. Now, count the number of words in your revised document.
4. Determine the number of deleted words: subtract the number of words in the revised document from the number of words in the original.
5. Calculate the percent deleted: divide the number of deleted words by the number of words in the original, then multiply by 100.

Example

Original: After reviewing the research and in the light of the relevant information found within the context of the conclusions, we feel that there is a definite need for some additional research to more specifically pinpoint our advertising and marketing strategies. (38 words)

But, be careful. Don't cut so much that you lose necessary information: